If you’ve ever chased a toddler all through the house

As he’s swallowing buttons off his favorite toy mouse

You know the adventures that parenting brings

The yelling, and pouting, and other fun things

A small child is a person – yes, that much is true

But have more than one, and it seems like a zoo

The fussing, and fighting, and continuous strife

Wear down the patience of husband and wife

Chaos, calamity, and craziness too

Sometimes mom and dad just don’t have a clue

The soft pitter-patter of cute little feet

Means total disaster they’re about to soon meet

When they’re babies, we change them with diapers that smell

Wow! It’s truly gruesome the stench they expel

But that’s just the beginning. The end it is not

Parents face many years of pee, poop, and snot

Kids refuse to eat veggies and other good food

While chewing gum from the table that for months has been glued

A child won’t try fruit that can possibly squirt

But they’re more than contented to chow down on dirt

Little ones become fascinated by swirling water

Toys flushed down toilet by both son and daughter

Soon the bathroom floods as yuck overflows

Mom yells at dad, “Fix it NOW! I’ve got to go!”

One of the many things that all households hate

Is putting children to bed before it gets late

Kids stall and delay, and they put up a fight

Then keep parents awake all night out of spite

Young girls and boys seem to be drawn to the mud

When they see a large puddle, they jump with a thud

But taking a bath is nothing but trouble

And if you’ve got two kids, the trouble is double

There are millions of questions a child wants to ask

Answering them all can be a difficult task

“Where do babies come from?” That’s the one that you dread

Don’t tell them a lie cause at school, it will spread

When you take a long trip in the family car

Sons and daughters act up before you’ve gone far

They will kick the seat, and they’ll whine, and complain

It’s their three greatest weapons to inflict you with pain

“I’ve got to tinkle!” You hear from behind

Every kid has to whiz whenever confined

But, of course, there’s not a bathroom nearby

“Back at the house, why didn’t you try?”

And so it goes through the years as we struggle

To raise up our children with so much to juggle

Hope they appreciate everything that we do

So that when THEY have their kids, they’ll suffer too!

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