There is a subject women love to address
Why the man in her life has to make such a mess
His aim in the bathroom can cause discontent
She can always tell when he’s gone in and went!
Toilet’s a big target, she can’t understand
What is his problem? Is it beyond his command?
The laws of physics do not ever change
The center of the bowl is not out of range!
He is a grown man. Yes, that much is true
How could he be old and not have a clue?
It’s like he’s blindfolded and trying to guess
Where that elusive spot is without success
Does he turn on the light or stand in the dark?
All that she knows is he misses the mark
Commode is not moving. Throne’s going nowhere
Is he hopping around whizzing while in midair?
Compared to her partner’s constant mistakes
Housebreaking a puppy – was a piece of cake
Can a man be trained? Does she dare to have hope?
She better stock up on stool-cleaning soap
Cleansers, disinfectants, and even some bleach
Those grisly stains are impossible to reach
It makes her shudder to try to envision
What he does in there with a lack of precision!
He’s even worse than the cat when it sprays
Does a man mark his territory? Is that just his way?
Can she finally get rid of her spongy wet mop?
If she gets him neutered? Would that make it stop?
Perhaps as a child, potty training not right
No reward as a treat. Something sweet, he could bite
Giving him candy for doing a good job
Might make him stop being a fire-hosing slob!
It just requires focus and some concentration
To give his best effort on every occasion
Is that asking too much? Does it really matter?
Make HIM clean it up! After all, they’re his splatters!