***
Woke up in the morning; something was wrong
I knew it was starting, coming on strong
My throat was scratchy. My nose was all runny
My head was so stuffy; it made me feel funny
OH NO! Despair! It was happening now!
Needed the courage to get better somehow
Told spouse I was sick, that I could not get up
She rolled her eyes. “Suck it up, Buttercup!”
Staggered to couch and stretched out in PJs
Where I happily stayed for the next seven days
I needed relief. My throat had a tickle
Ice cream would do. My FAV! Butter brickle
Never coughed so hard in all of my life
“Stop clearing your throat!” Complained my sweet wife
My sneezing was vicious and out of control
Both times that I sneezed took a heartbreaking toll
Was trying to relax when I got such a start
Shock to my system – skipped beats with my heart
Suddenly had shivers that I could not make stop
Big glob of ice cream dropped down PJ top
Misery raged on. I developed a fever
Skeptical spouse was a staunch disbeliever
Like a bun in the oven, I was more than well-done
Thermometer had spiked to 99.1
My life flashed before me. I was now gravely ill
Wife said, “You have the SNIFFLES! Just take a pill.”
Little does she know how sick I’ve become
Eaten so much ice cream my throat has grown numb
Took all kinds of medicine to find sweet relief
An attempt to feel better – no matter how brief
Throat lozenges, cough drops, and new nasal spray
“Men are such babies!” is all spouse would say
I was a brave little soldier while trying to be strong
Whimpering and whining as I struggled along
Though wife claimed I was a big pain in the – ALAS!
The part of the body that rhymes with the word brass
Out of patience, she said, “Enough of this crap!”
As I was about to stretch out for a nap
“You are going to do chores! Get off of the couch!”
My bride was no nurse. She was more of a grouch
Convinced that my illness was not really bad
Compared to what mothers endured – made her mad
“Men have no idea what women go through!”
I’d heard it before, so I already knew
My spouse claims that childbirth is world’s greatest pain
But my cold was unpleasant! It was even a strain
Despite my testosterone-fueled pain threshold
Like with her labor – I SUFFERED from that cold!!
We both handle sickness in our own special way
Wife stays on her feet and works all through the day
But I am the opposite. At first sign of a chill
I go down for the count, and I make out a will!
Poetry At Play 