This delicate subject can make people blush
Side-splitting hilarity will suddenly gush
There’s a famous line that must be addressed
“Here I sit broken-hearted!” – well, you know the rest
FART! Is the funniest word that I know
Whenever one happens, the laughter will flow
It’s universal. The whole world agrees
No matter the language, people react with glee
Cut one in the bathtub, and it loads of fun
Bubbles will be bubbling up by the ton
You’ve created a hot tub without all the cost
Powered by your own personal form of exhaust
Sometimes it’s a pop, or a squeak, or a boom!
Whatever the sound, smell clears out the room
A simple “Excuse me.” however, won’t do
As everyone holds their breath turning blue
A bad one can make your glasses all steamy
You might feel lightheaded and just a bit dreamy
High-pitched whistling farts are the most comical
The rumblings and grumblings that are gastronomical
Sometimes a big one comes as a surprise
Without any effort. Nobody tries
They just escape from your derriere
A tailgate vibration blowing you from your chair
Though abdominal relief can lead to elation
Best not to pass gas in a hushed situation
Like a moment of silence or during a prayer
You don’t want THAT sound to shatter the air
But it does!
The silence is deafening then you hear a big fart!
Trying to resist – but your giggling will start
It’s when you can’t laugh that something is funny
Your eyes edge with tears, and your nose gets all runny
How can you possibly keep a straight face?
Though it’s just part of life. It’s not a disgrace
Still, something’s hilarious about cutting the cheese
You know it’s the truth! Agree, if you please!
They often occur without any warning
Sometimes at night or early in morning
We’re never quite certain just when they’ll appear
But you can be sure that someone will hear!
It can’t be denied when faces turn red
Hope against hope that nothing is said
You can’t run and hide, so what can you do?
Everyone farts –
AND THAT INCLUDES YOU!