SQUEAK, POP, AND BOOM! GLOOM, DOOM, AND ZOOM!

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This delicate subject can make people blush

Side-splitting hilarity will suddenly gush

There’s a famous line that must be addressed

“Here I sit broken-hearted!” – well, you know the rest

FART! Is the funniest word that I know

Whenever one happens, the laughter will flow

It’s universal. The whole world agrees

No matter the language, people react with glee

Cut one in the bathtub, and it loads of fun

Bubbles will be bubbling up by the ton

You’ve created a hot tub without all the cost

Powered by your own personal form of exhaust

Sometimes it’s a pop, or a squeak, or a boom!

Whatever the sound, smell clears out the room

A simple “Excuse me.” however, won’t do

As everyone holds their breath turning blue

A bad one can make your glasses all steamy

You might feel lightheaded and just a bit dreamy

High-pitched whistling farts are the most comical

The rumblings and grumblings that are gastronomical

Sometimes a big one comes as a surprise

Without any effort. Nobody tries

They just escape from your derriere

A tailgate vibration blowing you from your chair

Though abdominal relief can lead to elation

Best not to pass gas in a hushed situation

Like a moment of silence or during a prayer

You don’t want THAT sound to shatter the air

But it does!

The silence is deafening then you hear a big fart!

Trying to resist – but your giggling will start

It’s when you can’t laugh that something is funny

Your eyes edge with tears, and your nose gets all runny

How can you possibly keep a straight face?

Though it’s just part of life. It’s not a disgrace

Still, something’s hilarious about cutting the cheese

You know it’s the truth! Agree, if you please!

They often occur without any warning

Sometimes at night or early in morning

We’re never quite certain just when they’ll appear

But you can be sure that someone will hear!

It can’t be denied when faces turn red

Hope against hope that nothing is said

You can’t run and hide, so what can you do?

Everyone farts –

AND THAT INCLUDES YOU!