***
“Camping is fun!” My wife said with glee.
I couldn’t believe she was talking to me.
It takes place outdoors, where the critters all live
That in itself was a reason to give
For staying at home with the AC and cable
Not smacking at ants on a small picnic table
The heat, and the wind, and the dirt, and the sun
Made roughing it sound like boatloads of fun
We set up our tent and unpacked our gear
Bravely I faced a weekend of fear
Hornets, and beetles, and wasps, and more
Because we abandoned the great INDOORS.
Against my will, spent the day at the lake
I thought it was awful, my wife thought it great
Supposed to be roughing it, unspoken rule
Squashing mosquitoes was far less than cool
But as evening came on, the insects grew larger
They seemed to be focused on me, an old codger
When it comes to winged creatures, I’m just a beginner
So bugs zeroed in thinking I was their dinner
To them, I appeared as a scrumptious buffet
Kept swinging and swatting to keep them at bay
I was annoyed, not expecting disaster
The insects were buzzing around even faster
Sadly I happened to yawn deep and long
That was when something went desperately wrong
Out in the wild, I had made a mistake
A wide-open mouth, bugs don’t hesitate
A fierce flying beetle flew straight down my throat!
It only took seconds, I started to croak
The ghastly insect went way down my pipe
Both eyes bulged out must have been quite a sight
My wife looked on in total amazement
Wishing she had a husband replacement
Coughing, and gagging, and retching, OH MY!
In front of my eyes, my life passing by
My stomach was churning I had to take flight
I jumped from my seat and ran off in the night
I expelled the invader skip the gruesome details
Staggering back, I was shaken and pale
There to meet me, the love of my life
Smirk on her face, words cut like a knife
My insides were aching, so sore, and I hurt
Smiling, my wife said, “You want some dessert?”
Poetry At Play 