We look in the mirror, it’s a sore sight to see

There are wrinkles and crinkles now how can that be?

What’s happened to us, we wonder out loud

When once we stood upright, so tall and so proud

Now we are bent, we moan, and we groan

When we try to get out of a chair all alone

Hobbling and wobbling first to and then fro

We can’t reach the floor cause it’s down there too low

Because we have cataracts, our vision is blurry

There’s hair in our ears that makes us look furry

Everything sags, gravity takes a harsh toll

We’d huff, and we’d puff if we dared take a stroll

(Rapid fire)

Thick glasses, large print, when we read, we have to squint

Joint pain, weight gain, non-stop brain drain

Feeling warm, going to crash, just another hot flash

Bad hips, bad knees, call the chiropractor, please

(Slow down)

Hemorrhoids! Oh no. It hurts when we SIT (Careful! There’s no H!)

I guess we’ll be standing for a good little bit.

Embarrassed and painful, a sad combination

With burning, and itching, and much inflammation


We’re bloated, gassy, and generally feel plugged

Digestive discomfort, we need to be drugged

Choosing a laxative, we all have a favorite

“I’ll take two, please!” We want extra to savor it

We can’t find our phone when it’s lost in the house

It can only be found with a call from our spouse

We like to go shop, it’s not very far

But when we walk out, we say, “Where is the car?”

Its dentures for us, our real teeth are gone

The fake ones come loose whenever we yawn

One good sneeze and the choppers are blown

Across the room into the unknown

We desperately need a tuck and a nip

Our steps have slowed down, we no longer have zip

The pains and the aches make us loudly complain

When we’re driving, the blinker stays on in our lane

Last but not least is a world filled with pills

Designed to help us no matter our ills

They can –

Make us grow hair, so we’re not bald on top

Give us the strength to flip, flop, and plop

Improve our recall – I forget all the rest

Help us calm down or fill us with zest

Bathroom pills help the things we must do

They slow down number one and speed up number two

There are even BLUE PILLS that will ease apprehension

Effects on the body I won’t even mention!!!


To sum it all up, growing old is not easy

It leaves us all feeling quite queasy and wheezy

They tell me that old age is all in your head

But I think it has spread to my body instead!

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