Every new drug that big pharma brings out

Has bad side effects. A third arm that you sprout!

Prescriptions that come with a long list of ills

Including dry heaves, hot flashes, and chills


Side effects are mentioned at auctioneer speed

A happy jingle plays hiding corporate greed

Actors are smiling with no issues in sight

No lesions or boils that might cause a fright

But the miracle cure is making YOU grumpy

After one dose, you begin to feel jumpy

Twitching and twerking! You’re dancing like Elvis!

Gross inflammation attacking your pelvis!

You’re bloated with gas that you WILL have to pass

It can rattle the windows! The belches break glass!

There’s high-pitched whistling from inside your bowels

Producing sheer panic with wailing and howls

Excessive hair growth in all the wrong places

A female mustache! There’s fuzz on their faces!

They are not happy. They frown. There’s no grin

With whiskers galore on their chinny chin chin!

BODY PARTS!         

Some parts will soon swell, and some parts will soon shrink

Some parts will turn blue, and some parts will turn pink

Body parts can go wrong. So what do YOU THINK?

I think it’s disgusting when body parts STINK!

Your stomach’s upset. It’s tied up in a knot

You have to start sprinting to get to the pot

Accident! NO warning! You just could not wait

Meds caused DIARRHEA! Didn’t know til TOO LATE!

Abdominal cramping. The pain makes you wince

Projectile vomiting! You might want to rinse

There’s gasping as you suffer shortness of breath

It’s slightly concerning cause that precedes death!

There are more conditions that I have left out

The list is extensive. Impressive, no doubt!

In short, rapid sequence, let’s take a quick peek

At what else can go wrong. It might make you freak!


Weight loss, weight gain

Rash, hives, muscle pain

Feeling down, change in mood

Appetite? Can’t face food

Heart is beating, palpitations

Seeing things, hallucinations

Sweating, shaking, dermatitis

Halitosis and gastritis

De-hydrated, drowsy, dizzy

Leaves you feeling in a tizzy

Wide awake. Cannot sleep

Spending hours counting sheep

Chapped lips. Dry mouth

Constipation way down south!



Squirting, and dripping, and oozing, and leaking

Chafing, and scraping, and sniffing, and tweaking

Embarrassing welts. A dry, flaky patch

If your privates are itchy –