There are individuals who choose not to dress
They believe being naked will relieve all their stress
“To each, his own” is what some people say
But nude volleyball, I would not watch them play!
A few questions –
Are nudists allowed to use a bug spray?
Or are they doomed to become a mosquito buffet?
If they have itchy privates, are they able to scratch?
Can you be a true nudist if you wear an eyepatch?
A few observations –
Drop something, bend over, a grim gruesome sight
The stuff of bad nightmares that you have in the night
You wished that they wore the appropriate attire
To see “THE GRAND CANYON”, you have no desire!
No jumping on trampolines is my fervent plea
All that jiggling and wiggling, I cannot UNSEE
Too many body parts flapping too much
It would make a proctologist toss up their lunch
Obviously, sunburn is always a threat
Sunblock is crucial, they cannot forget
Would look like a lobster after hours in the sun
More than just pink, they would soon be well done
Everything’s baggy, and saggy, and loose
You don’t want an eyeful of a droopy caboose
There’s no disrespect to a body intended
Not every physique is what you would call splendid
Without any clothes, they get goosebumps when chilly
Wearing nothing but mittens would make them look silly
But they have to stay warm, so what can they do?
It’s embarrassing to have your – you know what – turn blue
When it comes to frostbite, they’d lose more than a toe!
There are far more important parts, as you well know
Yes, the cold can be brutal – on that, you can bet
Just think of brass monkeys and the point you will get.
Poison ivy, poison oak, and poison sumac
If they touch one of those, it’s an itching attack
An embarrassing rash that there’s no way to hide
When you’re covered in lotion, it can’t be denied
Frying bacon for breakfast while still in the nude
Turns that porky delight into dangerous food
Getting a large splinter sitting on a park bench
Will make both of their hiney cheeks tighten and clench
Committing a crime, there is little risk
But if they get arrested, they’re easy to frisk!
In a police lineup, they’re quickly picked out
A unicorn-shaped birthmark on their rump leaves no doubt
They have wrinkles and crinkles in all kinds of places
When you meet some nudists, keep your eyes on their faces
Don’t sneak a peek. NO! Please don’t you dare
Not even a quick glance to check out what’s DOWN THERE!
A large plumber’s butt can’t begin to compare
To the bright full moon of a pale derriere
When it comes to anatomy, this fact is true
Some things are much better when they’re kept out of view!!!