There are individuals who choose not to dress

They believe being naked will relieve all their stress

“To each, his own” is what some people say

But nude volleyball, I would not watch them play!

A few questions  –

Are nudists allowed to use a bug spray?

Or are they doomed to become a mosquito buffet?

If they have itchy privates, are they able to scratch?

Can you be a true nudist if you wear an eyepatch?

A few observations –

Drop something, bend over, a grim gruesome sight

The stuff of bad nightmares that you have in the night

You wished that they wore the appropriate attire

To see “THE GRAND CANYON”, you have no desire!

No jumping on trampolines is my fervent plea

All that jiggling and wiggling, I cannot UNSEE

Too many body parts flapping too much

It would make a proctologist toss up their lunch

Obviously, sunburn is always a threat

Sunblock is crucial, they cannot forget

Would look like a lobster after hours in the sun

More than just pink, they would soon be well done

Everything’s baggy, and saggy, and loose

You don’t want an eyeful of a droopy caboose

There’s no disrespect to a body intended

But –

Not every physique is what you would call splendid

Without any clothes, they get goosebumps when chilly

Wearing nothing but mittens would make them look silly

But they have to stay warm, so what can they do?

It’s embarrassing to have your – you know what – turn blue

When it comes to frostbite, they’d lose more than a toe!

There are far more important parts, as you well know

Yes, the cold can be brutal – on that, you can bet

Just think of brass monkeys and the point you will get.

Poison ivy, poison oak, and poison sumac

If they touch one of those, it’s an itching attack

An embarrassing rash that there’s no way to hide

When you’re covered in lotion, it can’t be denied

Frying bacon for breakfast while still in the nude

Turns that porky delight into dangerous food

Getting a large splinter sitting on a park bench

Will make both of their hiney cheeks tighten and clench

Committing a crime, there is little risk

But if they get arrested, they’re easy to frisk!

In a police lineup, they’re quickly picked out

A unicorn-shaped birthmark on their rump leaves no doubt

They have wrinkles and crinkles in all kinds of places

When you meet some nudists, keep your eyes on their faces

Don’t sneak a peek. NO! Please don’t you dare

Not even a quick glance to check out what’s DOWN THERE!

A large plumber’s butt can’t begin to compare

To the bright full moon of a pale derriere

When it comes to anatomy, this fact is true

Some things are much better when they’re kept out of view!!!