***
My wife came back home with the cat from the vet
It was obvious that she was an unhappy pet
“The kitty is sick,” my wife said so sadly
No fan of the beast, I did not feel too badly
Because after all……….
Cat throws up her hairballs all over the floor
That warm squishy feeling that we so adore
Nothing like stepping on one when barefoot
To instantly increase your cardiac output
But now our feline had an infected gland
There’s no other choice but to treat it by hand
The exact location was a disturbing fact
The infection was located where the cat sat
Oh, Lord!
My wife broke the news it was grisly indeed
We’d shave our pet’s bottom, her area of need
I shuddered to think how bad this would soon be
There are going to be nightmares, just you wait and see
The cat would be peeled with her backside laid bare
People who saw her could not help but stare
Ointment applied with a large applicator
The critter won’t like it, will just agitate her
My word! This debacle was going to be gruesome
Took me and my spouse acting as a strong twosome
To corral the sick kitty and help her prepare
To lose a substantial amount of her hair
Finally, my wife and the razor were ready
My job was to keep the cat stable and steady
As barber, my spouse would do all of the shaving
I’d keep the feline from ranting and raving
Held Kitty’s head low, her caboose in the air
Not tempted to peek, I did not even dare
Complete thorough job was the aim of my wife
As a pet owner, this was a low point in life!
The cat was invaded by the humming machine
She scraped, and she clawed to escape from the fiend
But my spouse was focused her mind like a laser
She skillfully wielded the electrical razor
The poor kitty struggled, a waggle and wiggle
All I could do was to try not to giggle
Her fur flying off in every direction
At ear-splitting volume, the creature’s objection
It seemed like forever, the deed was now done
The poor cat was released and took off on the run
She soon disappeared and was gone for a while
Her clean-shaven booty made both of us smile
And in THE END, yes, the pun is intended
The poor cranky pet survived being rear-ended
Inglorious finish to a simple infection
Thank goodness no need for a closer inspection
The cat hates the wind whistling up her wazoo
If your keister was shaved, I think you’d hate it too.
The trauma left kitty feeling just a bit whiny
Cause she now had to live with a bright shiny hiney!
Poetry At Play 