My wife came back home with the cat from the vet

It was obvious that she was an unhappy pet

“The kitty is sick,” my wife said so sadly

No fan of the beast, I did not feel too badly

Because after all……….

Cat throws up her hairballs all over the floor

That warm squishy feeling that we so adore

Nothing like stepping on one when barefoot

To instantly increase your cardiac output

But now our feline had an infected gland

There’s no other choice but to treat it by hand

The exact location was a disturbing fact

The infection was located where the cat sat

Oh, Lord!

My wife broke the news it was grisly indeed

We’d shave our pet’s bottom, her area of need

I shuddered to think how bad this would soon be

There are going to be nightmares, just you wait and see

The cat would be peeled with her backside laid bare

People who saw her could not help but stare

Ointment applied with a large applicator

The critter won’t like it, will just agitate her

My word! This debacle was going to be gruesome

Took me and my spouse acting as a strong twosome

To corral the sick kitty and help her prepare

To lose a substantial amount of her hair

Finally, my wife and the razor were ready

My job was to keep the cat stable and steady

As barber, my spouse would do all of the shaving

I’d keep the feline from ranting and raving

Held Kitty’s head low, her caboose in the air

Not tempted to peek, I did not even dare

Complete thorough job was the aim of my wife

As a pet owner, this was a low point in life!

The cat was invaded by the humming machine

She scraped, and she clawed to escape from the fiend

But my spouse was focused her mind like a laser

She skillfully wielded the electrical razor

The poor kitty struggled, a waggle and wiggle

All I could do was to try not to giggle

Her fur flying off in every direction

At ear-splitting volume, the creature’s objection

It seemed like forever, the deed was now done

The poor cat was released and took off on the run

She soon disappeared and was gone for a while

Her clean-shaven booty made both of us smile

And in THE END, yes, the pun is intended

The poor cranky pet survived being rear-ended

Inglorious finish to a simple infection

Thank goodness no need for a closer inspection

The cat hates the wind whistling up her wazoo

If your keister was shaved, I think you’d hate it too.

The trauma left kitty feeling just a bit whiny

Cause she now had to live with a bright shiny hiney!