***
The ladies at church loved to cook and to bake
Using internet recipes for cookies and cake
So, granny got a laptop to join in the fun
To search for new recipes for hot rolls and buns
I got her set up, and I got her online
Right up to that point, everything was just fine
Taught grandma the basics, how to email her pastor
Then left her alone, not expecting disaster
But late in the evening, I heard granny SQUEAL!
I raced to her room, as she WOOHOOED! with zeal!
I couldn’t imagine what had her excited
But then I saw why the old girl was delighted!
While happily looking for a new recipe
Grandma saw something that she shouldn’t see
Innocently typing in – JUICY HOT BUNS
Pulled up a website touting “FUN” by the tons!
It contained ADULT CONTENT!!! But temptation was greater
Granny would snoop NOW and then repent LATER!
Not heeding the warnings, she was clicking away
For HER- the church ladies would soon have to pray
What granny was seeing was not food related
This was X-rated! She was now captivated!
Certainly, no recipes for buns could be found
This was where people were fooling around!!!
It showed a hot couple, but this wasn’t romance
It was more of a slow dance without any pants!
Grandma wasn’t looking at how to cook food
She was getting an eyeful of a buck-naked dude!!!
“Lord have Mercy!!!” She screeched with a shock
Her breathing turned heavy. She wanted to gawk!
Straining to see, dear granny was grinning
Never in her life had she seen so much sinning!
She exclaimed with disgust, “This is just sick!”
But her face lit up as she continued to click
Moving the cursor as fast as she could
Forgiveness she’d need – for not being good!
My sweet little grandmother, so bashful and shy
Stared at her laptop, a gleam in her eye
Because she was old enough to be an antique
She was squinting through cataracts –
As she took a LONG PEEK!!!
Then suddenly, she howled –
(Get ready for it)
“Oh! Jiminy Christmas! Can you believe that?”
“He’s not wearing a thing! Just a big cowboy hat!”
“And he’s got a lasso! Look out for that noose!”
She was getting her jollies watching his bare caboose!
But when the nude cowboy started spinning his lasso
Granny’s dentures popped out!!! What a fiasco!
Grabbing her choppers, she’d had quite a thrill
Crying out –
“That cowboy must have taken the MAGIC BLUE PILL!”
That’s when I turned, and I walked out the door
I’d now seen enough – did not want to see more
But as I strolled down the hallway, I heard grandma HOOT –
“YIPPEE! Ride ‘em, cowboy! Use your lasso! WOOT WOOT!!!”
Poetry At Play 