There are occasions that demand our attention

Like needing to pee! (Whisper…) Some won’t even mention

But we know the truth. The fuss and the muss

Soggy situations that we must discuss!

Men take a leak, but women just tinkle

Guys shoot a stream. Ladies just sprinkle

Gals must sit down – boys get to stand up

Visit the doctor, both pee in a cup

It’s often an issue when traveling by car

Needing to whiz before going too far

Search for a bathroom goes on without end

Roads without rest stops? I can’t comprehend

There are medications that help stop the flow

Then there are others that help make us go

This is big business. There’s money that’s made

Our bladders are bonkers, so they’re richly paid

There’s never a line at the men’s room, it’s true

But ladies must “hold it” until they turn blue!

That is not right. No, that is not fair

They should not have to wait for the porcelain chair!

If some laugh too hard, they may have an issue

Sneeze, and they drizzle. Quick grab some tissue!

Wake up in the night, and you have a great need

It’s just 30 minutes since the last time you peed!

Dogs have it easy. They can go in the yard

But finding a restroom can sometimes be hard

Have you ever decided to just pee outside?

Admit it – you have! Or else you have lied!

Crossed legs, the urge, the panic, the fear

Hope against hope that a bathroom is near

That third cup of coffee might not have been wise

You’re now seeing yellow with both of your eyes!

A forty-ounce drink is a big bladder buster

The race for a toilet leaves you in a fluster

Desperately searching for someplace to pee

When you can let fly, you’ll shout out with glee!

Locked restroom door means you’ll start to tap dance

You’ll hop up and down, and you might even prance!

Hogging the bathroom is thoughtless and cruel

But –

What’s really disgusting is to pee in the pool!

Plan for emergencies well in advance

Wearing multiple layers is taking a chance

Just one broken zipper could be a disaster

You’ve got to gain access! Go faster! Go faster!

But as you grow older, the problem can worsen

And you’re not as spry as a much younger person

The race for a restroom could be quite a squeaker

And if your bladder gets weaker –

You could be a leaker!!!