Some people are compelled to always workout
Trying to be fit is what they’re all about
Are you one of those? Or – are you more like me?
I’d rather snooze late, so please leave me be
Can’t see my feet, but I know they are there
They get me to snacks and back to my chair
I love my recliner. It’s my favorite place
To shovel those goodies straight into my face
I’m out of shape. That’s the way it will stay
A personal trainer? I’m not going to pay
Went to a gym, but I chose not to join
It took less than five minutes til I pulled my groin!
I once did a sit-up. That was more than enough
But it did NOT improve how I look in the buff
Soaking in sweat, I was aching and sore
And that made me grumpy. I’m sorry I swore
Interval, weight, and even strength training
All of that straining has got to be draining
Stationary bike? The choice is clear-cut
No scenery change and you get a sore butt
Leg-lifts, jumping jacks, lunges, and squats
Leaves my poor body tied up all in knots
Twisting, and pull-ups, and push-ups, and crunches
Forced to eat spinach and kale for my lunches
They say to do cardio. NO! NO! NO! NO!
I have little desire to get up and go
Don’t need to exercise on a track running laps
I work out my lungs snoring during each nap
But a locked bathroom door makes me want to dance
Gets my body moving in a dire circumstance
When my stomach first rumbles, I do take the hint
Only a digestive disaster can force me to sprint!
We know that our waistlines and backsides are growing
It’s beer guts and big butts that keep health clubs going
Try getting in shape? NO! I think I will pass
I really don’t care if I have a big –
Use your imagination!