***
My wife loves a bargain. Wants to buy it all cheap
Never pays full price. Takes it from the scrap heap
We call her THE SCROUNGER! She takes pride in that name
She views bargain shopping as a competitive game
When someone dies, she moves in for the kill!
To discover a deal gives her such a thrill
She’ll go to estate sales and load up on junk
Every dollar she saves is another slam-dunk
She’s hoarding everything that others don’t want
All her great buys she is happy to flaunt
She haggles over pennies as if they were gold
Til she reaches her price, and then it is SOLD!
Garage sales, flea markets, and a second-hand shop
Even antique stores make her pull up and stop
There are bargains to be had and money to spend
She makes a sweet deal, happiness in the end
She will even search trash set out by the curb
It’s called trash for a reason, but she thinks it’s superb
She brought home a table with one missing leg
“It was free!!!” She exclaimed. “I did not have to beg!”
The worst of the worst from the end of the line
My wife claims it’s hers. It will never be mine
There’s no moderation. She’s cheap to excess
But she is a good trader, I have to confess
My wife finds pure joy in finding pure crap
So, none of that stuff will end up in gift wrap
She likes to believe that she’s found a lost treasure
When an item is worthless, how do you measure?
But it makes her happy, and that is what matters
Even if her buys are torn up and in tatters
Loving the chase, the pursuit of the goal
She would even buy an old toilet – with a cracked bowl!
Poetry At Play 