My wife loves a bargain. Wants to buy it all cheap

Never pays full price. Takes it from the scrap heap

We call her THE SCROUNGER! She takes pride in that name

She views bargain shopping as a competitive game

When someone dies, she moves in for the kill!

To discover a deal gives her such a thrill

She’ll go to estate sales and load up on junk

Every dollar she saves is another slam-dunk

She’s hoarding everything that others don’t want

All her great buys she is happy to flaunt

She haggles over pennies as if they were gold

Til she reaches her price, and then it is SOLD!

Garage sales, flea markets, and a second-hand shop

Even antique stores make her pull up and stop

There are bargains to be had and money to spend

She makes a sweet deal, happiness in the end

She will even search trash set out by the curb

It’s called trash for a reason, but she thinks it’s superb

She brought home a table with one missing leg

“It was free!!!” She exclaimed. “I did not have to beg!”

The worst of the worst from the end of the line

My wife claims it’s hers. It will never be mine

There’s no moderation. She’s cheap to excess

But she is a good trader, I have to confess

My wife finds pure joy in finding pure crap

So, none of that stuff will end up in gift wrap

She likes to believe that she’s found a lost treasure

When an item is worthless, how do you measure?

But it makes her happy, and that is what matters

Even if her buys are torn up and in tatters

Loving the chase, the pursuit of the goal

She would even buy an old toilet – with a cracked bowl!

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