It seems we require almost constant medication

For embarrassing issues, it is our salvation

Pharmaceuticals focus on the word “chronic”

There are big bucks made with potions and tonics

Medicines can help you relax and stay calm

So, when children are present, you won’t drop the F-bomb

A toenail fungus can be far more than gross

Better stay out of the pool if you have a dose

Men desperately want more hair up on top

While women want their facial hair to all stop

One hoping to remove and the other to grow

A hairy situation that costs lots of dough

There are memory pills to help our recall

But too often, we forget to take them at all

There are even pills for overactive bladders

Every trip to the bathroom just makes you grow madder

Stiffness, and soreness, and achiness OH, MY!

Our joints need lubricating, so we can feel spry

In public, we have itching that worsens increasingly

Scratching THAT spot would be a case of indecency!

Dry eyes, and dry skin, and dry lips, and dry mouth

All of our body parts have now headed south

White teeth, strong enamel, gum disease, tooth decay

A multitude of products to help make choppers stay

Suddenly, without warning, hot flashes appear

Break into a sweat when it’s freezing! OH, DEAR!

Prostates and menopause are hardly poetic

Sorry I mentioned them. I am apologetic

You have a rumbling that’s way more than gas

Diarrhea! Good grief! You can’t let it pass!

Fast-acting stomach relief, you must seek

Before crisis occurs, and you spring a leak!


Even worse is a grim bout of bad constipation

It’s a clear-cut case of internal stagnation

The feeling of bloat is a deep heavy load

A laxative is needed before you explode

That’s followed by hemorrhoids that we all dread!

A subject on which very little is said

The burning, the itching, and even the pain

Don’t eat jalapenos. They’ll only inflame!

Unmentionable problems are something we share

Each one may seem dire – but just to be fair

They’re life’s little burdens that we all must live through

There’s no time for boohooing! Be a tough buckaroo!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s