Changing a light bulb – how many does it take?

Our house requires two, so there are no mistakes

I do the changing. My wife’s the supervisor

She takes on that role convinced she is the wiser

A “high vaulted ceiling” is in our living room

An architectural phrase that is fraught with great doom

Because to change light bulbs requires a tall ladder

Each time I replace one, it makes me grow madder

Recessed lighting means it’s harder to reach

It makes bad words become a part of my speech

But my spouse refuses to sit around in the dark

She’s funny that way, offering subtle remarks

Like how I should get up and get on the stick

And change out that light bulb, and be double-quick

I decided to cut corners because that is my way

But sadly, as always, there was a harsh price to pay

Instead of the ladder, used a swivel bar stool

My wife gently informed, “You are such a fool.”

“Don’t climb up on that. You are going to fall!”

She’s always dramatic. I chose to ignore it all

“Go get the ladder and do the job right.”

It’s only a burned bulb. I’ve changed many a light

Not even once have I ever been hurt

Manly discretion, I decided to assert

I got the new light bulb, and straight-up I went

Would be the easiest few seconds that I’d ever spent

Was startled, however, by the swiveling chair

But could not let my spouse know. I just did not dare

“You never listen to a word I say!”

She was right about that, but on that stool, I’d stay

I was not going to give her the satisfaction

Although I was slipping without any traction

“Please get the ladder, or you will break your neck.”

She always worries. But I would not hit the deck

Knew what I was doing, though the bar stool was shaky

“You’re going to tumble! You’ll be stiff, sore, and achy!”

Nervously teetering on the swiveling chair

I stood on tiptoes and reached high in the air

Latched onto the bulb and gave it a twist

It refused to budge, so I had to persist

Gripped even tighter, yanked to the left HARD

The wobble of the bar stool caught me off guard

It suddenly swiveled!! Sent me through the air

Landed flat on my back with a stunned glassy stare

Knocked the breath out of me. Could not say a word

But as my eyes refocused, I did barely observe

My lovely bride with a hand on her hip

I’ll get the ladder.” She was quick with a quip

But as I watched her slowly walking away

I clearly heard my long-suffering wife say

As she employed sarcasm with a large grin

“And THAT is why women live longer than men!”

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