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Traveling together is a relationship TEST
Whether heading back east or going out west
My wife loves sightseeing – but I am no fan
I’m not a wanderer. I’m a stay right here man
That didn’t matter, spouse wanted to go
“We’ll have excitement!” I doubted it though
My kind of travel? From the couch to the fridge
Don’t want to step out, not even a smidge
Just a one-day adventure, and so we set off
Me fighting the traffic, wife tried not to scoff
My driving skills, she is convinced are lacking
And that compels her to engage in wisecracking
Of course, I got lost. It happens each trip
I took a shortcut, the directions I skip
We were passing by scenery that was not on a map
Ignored my bride’s pleas and phone’s GPS App
Whenever we travel – like to stay on the go
But my spouse wants to stop. “There’s no hurry, you know!”
She bought souvenirs from a tourist trap site
A pink ceramic moose that is really a night light
How lucky we were that they did have one left
But the price that they charged was like some kind of theft
It went into the closet, a valuable keepsake
Then with no night light, I broke a toe that still aches
Was driving along when my wife screamed, “Go back!”
Her yelling almost caused me a small heart attack
At the exit we’d passed, there was something to see
I could not imagine just what it might be
BUT AMAZINGLY –
It was the world’s SECOND largest ball of hair!
Which means there’s an even BIGGER ball somewhere
We took a quick photo. Our next Christmas card
Will be sent out to family with warmest regard
I continued to drive until my spouse declared
That she needed a bathroom! It was at me that she glared
I could tell by the gleam, the wild look in her eyes
To do what she said would be far more than wise
Sadly, my shortcut had led us to nowhere
No signs of life. Wife ready to swear
Not a bathroom in sight – only cows in a field
It was beginning to look like my fate was now sealed
Then around the corner, a beautiful sight
A one-stop shopping spot so shiny and bright
I pulled the car in, and I rolled to a stop
My spouse bolted out in a run and a hop
A few minutes later, I was forgiven
For all of the shortcuts that I had driven
My wife was relieved, in more ways than one
And, thankfully, our day trip was just about done
But on our way home, she mentioned vacation
Planning already for a summer location
How can this be? I’m feeling quite glum
We are retired!!! What’s it a vacation from???
Poetry At Play 