There’s a sinister word that fills us with dread

It usually occurs after we’ve been well fed

CONSTIPATION!!! Oh no! The horror it brings!

Makes you grumpy, and cranky, and other bad things

The cramping, and bloat, and the gathering gas

You hope against hope that something will pass

Your insides are concrete. You need quick relief

Should’ve had salad – not BBQ beef!

There’s shortness of breath with your eyes bulging out

Could you die on the throne? Of that, there’s no doubt

The suffering is relentless. You squirm, and you sweat

Try for relief, butt (!) a whistling fart’s all you get

It’s humbling to sit with your pants to your knees

Wishing you hadn’t eaten all of that cheese

Because roughage and fiber your diet is missing

Air is escaping from you, sounds like hissing!

The pressure builds up til you think it will blow

How many days can you go with NO GO?

Not a world record to be broken by you

No bathroom fame for your “number two”!

So now a laxative you’re forced to take

Something must give! The logjam must break!

Becoming lightheaded from grunting and straining

All of this because your colon needs draining!


Then with one mighty push, sun peeks through the clouds

The heavens open up, making you feel so proud

The dam has now broken! Gruesome sounds fill the room

There are rumbles and grumbles followed by a loud BOOM!!!

It has finally happened. You are unblocked!

You can celebrate now! Your bowels are unlocked!!!

Do your happy dance. Feeling light on your feet

Toss confetti in the air. Victory feels so sweet!!

It was a struggle. You were jumping through hoops

In a superhuman effort to produce a small poop

So now you have read all the way to the end


You appreciate great literature when it is penned!

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