***
Spiders, I hate them I want to make clear
Fill me with dread, when they sneak up and appear
They’re creepy and scary, welcome they’re not
I really don’t like them, and I mean a lot
It’s my job to kill them; my wife is much braver
Still, I try to come to the rescue and save her
A spider shows up, and my spouse thinks it’s fun
She believes it is cute the way I jump and run
To go get the weapon that I use the most
Tennis racket is best, I do not want to boast
With my eyes shut so tight, I swing wild at the pest
But I don’t even come close to our unwanted guest
The critter is huge, he’s the size of a DIME!
I swing, I swat til I commit a small crime
Missing the spider, I hit an antique
In an instant, my future turns out to be bleak
My wife yells, “Please stop! That is more than enough!”
Mad as can be, she is now in a huff
Grabs swatter smacks spider until it is dead
Drops it in trash and starts shaking her head
It’s humbling to have my spouse win the day
As I slink off to put my racket away
But when spiders arrive, she’s not always on hand
So that means that I have to be in command
I was driving alone on the way home from work
Sun was so bright that it made my eyes hurt
Lowered the visor, and what did I see
A gigantic black spider, staring right back at me!
My heart almost stopped, and my throat became tight
It was suddenly a case of fight or take flight
Traffic on four sides, there’s nowhere to go
We glared at each other, just me and my foe
Then suddenly it happened!! My worst fear came true
The spider jumped forward right out of the blue
With eight hairy legs, he leaped onto my lap
Without even thinking, I started to slap
Let’s pause –
This was an event I had never foreseen
Where I’d hit myself THERE and make myself scream
Situation demanded a swift and prompt action
So there’d be no car wreck from this awful distraction
It gets worse –
I’m flailing away while howling in pain
Other motorists look over and think I’m insane
But the spider eventually met its demise
The agony, however, made tears fill my eyes
I drove to my house, breathing in a short gasp
Met the wife at the door my voice was a rasp
Taking small baby steps, swollen and sore
She said, “I’m glad you’re home. I have a small chore.”
Pulled my tennis racket from behind her back
“Big spider inside, would you give it a whack?”
Poetry At Play 