***
The microwave is such an amazing invention
It’s hard to realize it could cause such dissension
It happened at our house, you better believe
This story is true because I was naive
I had started a fire – yes, I was to blame
The microwave smoked, there were sparks and a flame
Wife came running, extinguisher in hand
This was an event for which she had planned
She knew it was only a matter of time
Until her dear husband committed the crime
Of placing some metal into the small oven
Only one piece might as well be a dozen
Bought a new microwave, had it installed
This time the firemen wouldn’t be called
Wife made it clear that this was my last chance
One more mishap, it would harm our romance
I was so careful there was no mistake
This brand new machine I was not going to break
The cooking went well. There was peace in our house
There’s nothing like having a contented spouse
But then on one day, everything turned out wrong
I let the microwave run on for too long
This was a case of not paying attention
If only I’d used an ounce of prevention
My wife had stepped out thought I’d fix a quick snack
Making microwave popcorn, I had quite the knack
Opened the door and threw in the sealed bag
Hit all of the numbers, I don’t want to brag
A short time later got a shocking surprise
Smoke poured from the oven, I’m telling no lies
This is all wrong – no, this is not right
Fire flickered in there and burning so bright
What in the world? I’m trying to think
The petrified popcorn is starting to stink
I look at the timer and see my mistake
Not 3:33 I had hit 8:88
The evidence I hurried to make go away
Had to quickly dispose of my charcoaled entree
Suddenly the smoke alarm started to roar
Sending the cat hurtling through the pet door
My nose was all clogged, and my eyes were both burning
But worst was knowing my spouse was returning
What a fiasco, what a bad scene
Frantically, I started to scrub and to clean
The popcorn was now just a glowing briquette
I was starting to break out into a cold sweat
What a disaster, could it get any worse?
You’re going to find out in the very next verse
Just at that moment, my sweetie came back
Difficult to see her, the air was so black
Her patience was shot had reached all her limits
She loudly exclaimed –
“I WAS ONLY GONE FOR TEN MINUTES!!”
Poetry At Play 