The microwave is such an amazing invention

It’s hard to realize it could cause such dissension

It happened at our house, you better believe

This story is true because I was naive

I had started a fire – yes, I was to blame

The microwave smoked, there were sparks and a flame

Wife came running, extinguisher in hand

This was an event for which she had planned

She knew it was only a matter of time

Until her dear husband committed the crime

Of placing some metal into the small oven

Only one piece might as well be a dozen

Bought a new microwave, had it installed

This time the firemen wouldn’t be called

Wife made it clear that this was my last chance

One more mishap, it would harm our romance 

I was so careful there was no mistake

This brand new machine I was not going to break

The cooking went well. There was peace in our house

There’s nothing like having a contented spouse

But then on one day, everything turned out wrong

I let the microwave run on for too long

This was a case of not paying attention

If only I’d used an ounce of prevention

My wife had stepped out thought I’d fix a quick snack

Making microwave popcorn, I had quite the knack

Opened the door and threw in the sealed bag

Hit all of the numbers, I don’t want to brag

A short time later got a shocking surprise

Smoke poured from the oven, I’m telling no lies

This is all wrong – no, this is not right

Fire flickered in there and burning so bright

What in the world? I’m trying to think

The petrified popcorn is starting to stink

I look at the timer and see my mistake

Not 3:33 I had hit 8:88

The evidence I hurried to make go away

Had to quickly dispose of my charcoaled entree

Suddenly the smoke alarm started to roar

Sending the cat hurtling through the pet door

My nose was all clogged, and my eyes were both burning

But worst was knowing my spouse was returning

What a fiasco, what a bad scene

Frantically, I started to scrub and to clean

The popcorn was now just a glowing briquette

I was starting to break out into a cold sweat

What a disaster, could it get any worse?

You’re going to find out in the very next verse

Just at that moment, my sweetie came back

Difficult to see her, the air was so black

Her patience was shot had reached all her limits

She loudly exclaimed –


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